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well i just found out that i will be single again in january. the b/f i have now is going to be taking a job that will have him out of the state working for long periods of time. could be 2 weeks at a time but can be 6months or more at a time. i quess i am just meant to be alone. i am so used to being alone that it doesnt really phase me much anymore. well to be honest , it hurts me and i hate being alone.i hate being stuck in this apartment that i live in with my aunt and my brother.i want to be able to live in my own place. that way i can have friends over or i can have anyone i want over without them being subject to my aunt and my brother. well enough ranting for now ty for listening.







ok i was wrong in what i was thinking when i wrote this i have been moody and jumped to conclusions.i need to stop posting in the journal until i get all the facts and stop jumping to conclusions. sorry if i bothered anyone that would be worried about me.

i hope i dont offend anyone by venting on here. i am just so worried about being able to buy my oldest son his birthday present and it has to be a good one he will be 18 in dec. i am also worried about buying him and my other son their christmas gifts. i would have more money if my lazy ass brother would get a job and help with the groceries and stuff here. then i might be able to afford a damn car so i didnt have to freeze my ass off walking to work at 5am . my moods keep going from being pissed off to being depressed to being stressed and start all over again. i stay so moody lately and i hate being this way. i dont have enough privacy here to be able to meditate to calm myself. i cant go out to relieve the stress because of no car and no money. again i am sorry if i offend anyone by this entry. blessed be . may the goddesses watch over you all.